Slideshow: Top surprises of life after baby arrives
All your time is baby time
You may have set the agenda once, but not anymore. Your baby's timetable is now your timetable. Yes, newborns sleep up to 18 hours a day, but that's broken up into small chunks. Between naps, there's feeding, changing and lots of holding going on.
Tip: After the first hectic weeks, babies take longer naps at predictable times. And you'll become a much better time manager.
You've joined a worldwide club
Suddenly you've got a lot of friends. Strangers smile at you. Mothers ask you if you want to join them on a play date. Your boss asks you how your baby's check up went. The club is called parenthood, and you have a lot of company. Enjoy it.
Tip: You'll develop a unique parenting style that is right for your family -- and may be quite different from your neighbours'.
Your relationship changes
The dynamics have changed. There's one more person to interact with, and that means less time for just you and your partner. If one parent is providing most of the baby care, the other can feel put out. Couples can become so busy they forget to talk.
Tip: Set aside time for just the two of you. Make a date and share what's happening in each other's life.
Night's no longer for sleeping
You remember when night was for sleeping, don't you? Well, your new baby isn't going to let you do that for a while. Until she sleeps through the night, you can limit your sleep deprivation by taking turns with your partner in getting up with the baby.
Tip: During the day, don't try to catch up on chores while the baby sleeps. Lie down and rest.
You make more faces than a baby
Babies learn by watching and interacting with their environment. It won't be long before you find yourself doing a lot of "silly" things to encourage your baby's learning. Smiling, sticking out your tongue or making a funny face or sound will attract his attention.
Tip: After the first few weeks, you'll see him studying, learning and eventually imitating your silly faces.
You need help
The constant attention that babies demand is exhausting. Ask for help from your partner. Each of you should have time each day, while the other is taking care of the baby, to do something that's just for you. Watch a favourite TV programme, read a book, go for a walk, take a bath.
Tip: If you're a single parent, don't be afraid to ask for help from a friend or relative. Time away will help you recharge.
Babies need conversation
When you talk to your baby, two things happen. She learns and you bond. The more you talk, the more those things happen.
Tip: Imitate your baby's sounds -- "ba-ba" or "goo-goo" -- then wait for your baby to make another sound, and repeat that back. This helps her learn the give and take of conversation.
Guilt is part of parenthood
You told yourself you were going to be a top-notch parent – a calming, happy presence. However, there are times when you simply don't want to do it anymore. Now you feel guilty that you aren't enjoying every second of parenthood. Don't. It's natural to want a break from baby.
Tip: Ask for help. When the baby's safe in his cot, call a friend for a chat. Remember all the things that are going right.
Children's books are literature
If you didn't know children's books before, you'll fall in love with them now. Many are written with both parent and child in mind to entertain while they educate. Babies love to be read to, and it's never too early to start reading to yours.
Tip: Reading aloud will help your baby be a better reader when she's older.
You'll make mistakes
All those how-to books you read about parenting, and all those things you swore you would never do ... Maybe in a perfect world there are perfect parents. In the real world, the rule of thumb is you do what works. If your child's too old for a dummy but it helps him sleep, you'll probably make the "mistake" of letting him keep it. Relax. That's not the kind of mistake that's going to hurt him. Tip: When in doubt, ask for expert health and parenting advice.
You become a judge
As your child grows, so does your role as adjudicator. It may not be what you want to do. Nevertheless, there'll be disputes between siblings to settle, boundaries to establish, and lots to monitor. Discipline isn't the easiest thing to administer, but it's part of the job.
Tip: Set aside time to spend with each child individually, so they don't feel like they're always competing for your attention.
Company in the toilet
It'll be a couple of years before you start potty training your new baby. When you do, either you or your spouse will probably have an audience when you go to the toilet. It's called parent modelling. It’s one way to teach what going to the toilet is all about. A child, especially a clever one like yours, can learn a lot by watching.
Baby love is real
It might not happen right away, but one day you'll look at your child and feel a depth of emotion you haven't known before. Just how boundless that feeling of love is catches a lot of parents, especially mothers, by surprise. You knew you were going to love this baby, but not so unconditionally. Enjoy it and make it last a lifetime.
Parenting is letting go
It's the bittersweet twist in parenting. Every milestone is an accomplishment, and you can be proud you helped your child get there. At the same time, every milestone means your child is more independent and needs you a little less. When she's tiny, won't sleep through the night, and can't do for herself, you feel like it will never end. Then it seems like it's the next day and she's waving goodbye.
Related Reading
Medically Reviewed by Dr Rob Hicks on December 06, 2012
IMAGES PROVIDED BY:
(1) Frida Marquez
(2) Chris Carroll / UpperCut Images
(3) Radius Images
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(5) LWA, Taxi
(6) Stockbrokerxtra Images
(7) Bjorn Andren / Nordic Photos
(8) Comstock
(9) Image Source
(10) Ryan McVay / Stone
(11) IAN HOOTON/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY
(12) Cal Crary / Taxi
(13) Corbis
(14) Ryan McVay / White
(15) Photodisc
(16) Jan Eickhoff / Photographer’s Choice
REFERENCES:
LV group cost of a child survery 2010.
US National Sleep Foundation.
News for Parents.org: "In the Afterglow of Birthing Circles."
KidsHealth.org: "How Becoming Parents Can Affect Your Relationship."
Parenting.org: "Sleepless in Parentville!"
KidsHealth.org: "How Becoming Parents Can Affect Your Relationship."
KidsHealth.org: "Learning, Play, and Your Newborn."
Parenting.org: "Who's on First? Giving Kids Their Fair Share of Attention."
KidsHealth.org: "A Guide for First Time Parents."
Parenting.Org: "Communicating with Your Child."
News for Parents.org: "Baby Talk."
News for Parents.Org: "8 Ways Parents Can Promote Reading at Home."
University of Georgia Extension Services, USA: "Why Read to Infants Before They Can Talk?"
This tool does not provide medical advice. See additional information:
THIS TOOL DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. It is intended for general information purposes only and does not address individual circumstances. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on to make decisions about your health. Never ignore professional medical advice in seeking treatment because of something you have read on the Boots WebMD Site. If you have a medical problem please contact your GP. In England call 111 or NHS Direct. In Scotland call NHS 24. In Wales, call NHS Direct Wales. In the case of medical emergencies, always dial 999.
© 2012 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
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