Baby-proof your sanity: Six parenting tips

Sleep deprivation combined with the constant demands of caring for a baby can test your limits. The challenges of having a new baby can take their toll, but while you are focusing on your bundle of joy, do not forget to take care of yourself.

1. Take care of your health

“The health of a family depends on the health of the mother”, says midwife Elizabeth Stein. She recommends following up on any conditions identified during pregnancy such as diabetes or high blood pressure and focusing on good nutrition rather than weight loss. “I remind new mums that it took 40 weeks to gain 40 pounds, so she should give herself that long to lose it.”

Sharon Wishner, a single mother with a four-month-old son, says taking care of herself was tougher than she expected during her first few weeks as a new mum. “You know you need to eat because you need the strength, but I was so tired that I didn't have an appetite”, she says. “You think, ‘Should I go to sleep or should I eat?’ I didn't think about showering or dressing. My choice was whether to eat or sleep.”

2. Take turns to get some sleep

Chronic sleep deprivation does not only lead to exhaustion, it can also interfere with your memory, your mood, your concentration and your ability to cope with your new responsibilities. It can also make you more susceptible to illness.

While some degree of sleep deprivation is usually a fact of life for new parents, there are strategies for maximising your sleeping time. A common mistake made by new parents is to both get up with the baby. Parents are better off dividing the night into shifts, as much as is possible in the case of breast-fed babies. One parent should stay up and one should sleep.

Of course, sharing baby care is not usually an option for single parents. “The first six weeks were pretty tough”, Wishner says. “It was just me and my baby.” Luckily, her son, Shane, started sleeping through the night at 11 weeks. Until then, “I just tried to sleep whenever he slept.”

3. Take time for yourself

Quality time away from your child is just as important as quality time with your child, says Jerrold Lee Shapiro, a psychologist. “You have to nurture yourself so you're not running on fumes”, he says. What qualifies as quality time is different for everyone, so choose the activity that works best for you. “Working out, walking, reading a book, sitting down with a close friend ... It can be almost anything that relaxes and centres you, and takes you away from the immediacy of someone else's needs.”

Psychologist Arthur Kovacs stresses that your own needs do not disappear when you have a baby. “Every human has three critical needs - solitude, human warmth and companionship - and the need to feel productive, that one is making use of one's talents. If you're a conscientious parent, you may forget about this.”