Children and AIDS: Talking to your children

Having the "birds-and-the-bees" talk is never the easiest thing to do. As challenging as it is though, you can learn how to talk about sex, drugs and AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome). Here are some reasons why it's so important and some tips for starting to think - and talk - about children and AIDS.

What prevents parents from talking to children about AIDS

In certain studies only about half of students say they've discussed HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) with their parents. You might put off talking about HIV and AIDS due to embarrassment, taboos or lack of information. Or perhaps problems such as these are creating stumbling blocks:

• Lack of confidence. You might feel unsure about talking with your children about sex, HIV or AIDS. Many adults in the present generation did not learn from their parents how to start difficult discussions, especially since AIDS didn't exist when they were children. But the AIDS era demands more open discussion.
• Fear. You might fear that it's ‘too much too soon’ or that a discussion about sex will encourage early experimentation. Research shows that's not true. Remember that children are hearing a lot from the internet, TV, films, magazines, school and friends. As many as 93% of children have heard about AIDS by the time they are 10 years old.
• False security. Once your child reaches secondary school, you might think you've discussed these topics more than you have. Why? It might be because you've touched on medical facts. That lays the groundwork, but it's not enough. Your child needs important practical information such as how to use a condom and other ways to prevent HIV. Did you know that one in three children in the UK have sexual intercourse by the time they're 15?

The benefits of open communication

Children often prefer to get information about sex or HIV from their parents. It's an opportunity to provide accurate information, framed by your own personal values. Research has shown other benefits of parent-child communication:

• Talking with children about HIV and AIDS increases the chances of delaying sex and protects against risky behaviour.
• Talking about HIV and AIDS decreases the chances of unprotected sex. If the use of condoms is discussed before teens have sex, they are three times more likely to use condoms later on.
• Teens who discuss sex with parents are seven times more likely to feel comfortable talking with a sexual partner about HIV and AIDS.

The risks of not talking about children and AIDS

Teens or children can get HIV by having sex, being sexually abused or by sharing needles and syringes with someone who has HIV. But often parents don't want to believe that their child is at risk. A study in the US showed that half of mothers of teenagers who are having sex think their children are still virgins.

Here are more reasons to become a better-informed and more communicative parent:

• More children are having sex in Britain than in any other European country.
• A University of Bristol survey of 13- to 17-year-old girls showed that nearly nine out of 10 had been in an intimate relationship. Of these, one in six said they had been pressured into sexual intercourse.
• Young people are the age group most at risk of being diagnosed with STDs.
• In 2007 young people accounted for 11% of new HIV infections, 65% of all chlamydia and 50% of gonorrhoea in the UK.