Why the 'smug marrieds' have reasons to be thankful

28^th January 2011 - ‘The course of true love never did run smooth’, as one of Shakespeare’s characters observes, comparing a relationship to the meandering of a river. However, for people who manage to turn their love affairs into long-term, successful relationships, it seems the benefits to mental and physical health are enormous.

People in stable relationships live longer than singletons, according to a review of evidence in the latest edition of Student BMJ. David Gallacher, a trainee at University Hospital of Wales, Cardiff, and John Gallacher, a reader at Cardiff University’s School of Medicine, say other health benefits come to those who wait, with older people most likely to see the advantages.

“Love is a voyage of discovery from dopamine drenched romance to oxytocin induced attachment,” they write. “Making this journey can be fraught with hazards and lead many to question the value of romance and commitment.”

Lysander’s anguished remark about young love in A Midsummer Night’s Dream may tell us something about the dopamine phase, but nothing about the oxytocin stages.

Maturity

“Evidence suggests that romantic relationships in adolescence are associated with increased depressive symptoms,” the authors of the editorial say, adding that “it seems that a degree of maturity is required before Cupid is likely to bring a net health benefit”.

A study of a billion people across seven European countries found that the death rate among married people was 10-15% lower than the population as a whole. The authors remark that other benefits vary between the sexes.

Physical and mental health

They say that women in committed relationships have better mental health, while men in committed relationships have better physical health. They suggest that men’s physical health may improve because their partner helps them towards a healthier lifestyle, while “the mental bonus for women may be due to a greater emphasis on the importance of the relationship”.

“Women tend to be, on the whole, the nurturers of the family,” says Denise Knowles, a counsellor with Relate, who believes that this tends to bring fulfilment to the lives of many women. “There’s a sense that they have much more of a role and it’s not just them, per se, being important,” Knowles tells us.

Relationship problems

However, not all aspects of a relationship are beneficial. The Cardiff authors says divorce can have a devastating impact on health, while “being single is associated with better mental health than being in a strained relationship”.

“When these things happen it breaks the bond that somebody has - it breaks the attachment - and therefore trust takes a huge knock,” says Knowles. “When you don’t trust somebody you are always living a little bit on eggshells, you’re waiting for the next let-down, and that takes some time to recover from.”