Are you in a 'distressed relationship'?

26th May 2016 - Pressure of work, money problems and childcare issues have contributed to almost 1 in 5 adults in relationships in the UK having severe relationship problems, says a report.

The study, by the charity Relate, says poor quality relationships are having a detrimental effect on people's physical and mental health.

The figures are drawn from Relate's report, Relationship Distress Monitor, and show that:

• 2.87 million people (18% of married or cohabiting couples) are in distressed relationships
• This includes over 1.4 million families at breaking point across the UK
• Parents of under-16s are more likely to be in distressed relationships (22%).

The study was carried out between 2013 and 2015 and had a sample size of 20,980.

Considering divorce

It looked for a number of symptoms pointing to a distressed relationship. These included how often couples argued, how frequently they thought about separating or divorcing and how often they regretted getting together or marrying.

The report also found that:

• 9% of partners say they considered divorcing or separating at least occasionally

• 10% of partners reported at least occasionally regretting getting married or living together

• 49% of partners reported at least occasionally quarrelling - and 6.8% said their quarrelling was severe.

Relate counsellor, Arabella Russell, says in a statement: "Through my work I see countless couples in distressed relationships. Often the couples I see are arguing constantly with pressures such as jobs, finances and childcare putting their relationships under real strain. It’s a very painful place to be and the impact it can have on the family is huge."

Health problems

According to Relate, research suggests that being in a distressed relationship can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, high blood pressure and heart attack. Poor quality relationships have also been linked to risky behaviours, alcohol abuse and smoking and substance abuse.

It says children who grow up with parents in poor relationships are more likely to have behavioural problems such as hyperactivity and aggression.

The Relate report urges policymakers to heed the "disquieting evidence" and build services that can support relationships and families. In particular it calls for more financial support to be made available to counselling services like that offered by Relate.

Chris Sherwood, the charity's chief executive, says the current situation is "hugely concerning" and that "families can't go on like this".