Faking orgasms keeps men happy

According to a recent survey 37% of women admitted they had faked orgasm on more than one occasion. A startling 26% told the website Askmen.com that they faked an orgasm every time they had sex. You may think you are sparing his feelings but the truth is you are denying yourself pleasure and deceiving your partner. Experts suggest this is not a habit you want to cultivate if honesty and good comminication is important to your relationship. What's more, each time you reinforce the wrong impression, the less likely you are to be satisfied with your love life.

Masturbation during sex is abnormal

No. Masturbation is a perfectly normal way to arouse yourself or one another. You will not go blind, lose your hair or get spots, according to the old wives tales! Masturbation can actually help teach you what you like sexually and many couples find mutual masturbation improves their sexual enjoyment.

Research also suggests masturbation may have benefits such as stress relief, reducing PMS and premature ejaculation and even promoting better sleep. However, it's a personal choice, so only go with what you feel comfortable doing.

Are simultaneous orgasms essential?

Reaching orgasm at the same time as your partner is a challenge for most couples. Trying too hard may actually inhibit your ability to orgasm, so don't put yourself under too much pressure. Orgasm may be something that you have little control over and trying to monitor where your partner is in the process may spoil the moment for you. Letting nature take its course and taking turns to fulfil one another can be equally pleasurable. For most people, climaxing together may be as rare as a meteor shower – so enjoy it when it happens naturally.

Men think more about sex than women do

Research suggests this age old sterotype is actually true. A recent study found that on an average day, men think about sex twice as often as women do.

However, women aren't just contemplating their navels. The same study showed women thought about sex a healthy 10 times a day – and there's no indication that sex is any less important to women than it is to men.

Having lots of sex is normal

According to the third National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal), people in the UK are having sex less often than prevous generations – less than five times a month. The truth is there is no ideal recommended amount of sex. What matters is your own personal preference and how fulfilled you are in your relationship.

Messy bedroom = messy sex life

De-cluttering your bedroom could work wonders for your sex life. If your boudoir is littered with paperwork, laptops, TVs and laundry, it's no wonder you may have trouble focusing between the sheets. Shut out the junk and other items associated with work rather than play – and make your bedroom a sanctuary. Experts suggest a neutral, relaxing space with comfy pillows and fabrics may help get your mind off the mundane and ready for romance.

Men like sex anytime, anywhere

Contrary to popular belief, most men have to be in the mood too. Women are often taken aback when a man is reluctant to have sex and may assume there is a deeper problem with the relationship. Experts say, just like women, men may simply have had a bad day, or feel worn out, so sex is not top of their agenda. Don't jump to conclusions, be patient and try again later.

Honesty is always the best policy

Honesty, of course, is a very important factor in any loving relationship and it's important to talk about issues with your sex life but, tread carefully with your approach. Bombarding your partner with a list of complaints is not the ideal strategy and may hurt his or her feelings. Experts suggest being sensitive and keeping any discussion positive. Starting with what they are doing right is a good approach especially when it comes to any lack of sexual fulfilment.

Sex toys can do more harm than good for your sex life

Sex toys, such as vibrators, are safe and healthy when used responsibly. In fact some research showed women who used them had better lubrication, were more easily aroused and found it easier to orgasm when having sex. However, sex toys can harbour germs and even pass on sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Keeping them clean is important. Wash after every use, cover penetrative toys with a condom before someone else uses them and consider having separate toys for each partner.

Men prefer to do it with the lights on

Some research supports the idea that men are more aroused by visual stimulation than women. This may be why they prefer to see a woman as they make love and are aroused by visual cues like sexy lingerie. Women are also stimulated by what they see but are also aroused by a range of non-visual cues.

Pillow talk is a time to vent

In more than half the households in the UK (53%) the adults go to work. Work pressures and everyday life mean couples have limited time for practical discussions about anything from the family budget to a child's birthday party. Before bedtime, or in bed, is not the best time to tackle these topics. Experts suggest having these conversations earlier in the day – even via email – and saving pillow talk for less stressful topics that don't blight your love life.

Trying something new improves your love life

Experimenting with something new in bed is a good way to keep your relationship fresh. However, experts suggest setting clear expectations before you leap between the sheets. They say some women worry about seeming inflexible or uptight if they declare some activities out of bounds. However, setting clear boundaries helps both partners feel more comfortable and can lead to a better sexual experience.

It's a turnoff to set a date for sex

Planning when to have sex may seem rather calculated and a bit of a turn-off but with busy modern lives, spontaneous sex can be a rare occurrence. If you're both juggling jobs and the children, sex can easily fall by the wayside if you wait for it to happen naturally. Planning isn't just for business. We plan holidays and social events, so why not sex? Experts suggest clearing a time for romance on your calendar and making sure it doesn't get cancelled!

More reading on sex and relationships

• 18 secrets men wish you knew
• 19 secrets women wish you knew
• Understanding ovulation & fertility
• 10 surprising health benefits of sex
• Sex drive killers slideshow
• Pictures and facts about STIs