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Low-stress wedding: Tips to help

WebMD Medical Reference
Medically Reviewed by Dr Rob Hicks

Why do people get so stressed by weddings?

Of course, plenty of people do head into the 'wedding countdown' armed with their checklist of requirements - but still feel under massive pressure as the day looms. This could be due to a lack of support - or other more general concerns about aspects of the day.

Some people find it hard to delegate tasks - and don't trust anybody else to do it for them. Others may agree to compromises even when they are not happy about them.

This can include feeling obliged to invite people you don't want there.

So how can you reduce the stress of planning a wedding?

Hiring a wedding planner

Hiring a wedding planner may help take the stress out of the day - but at a price.

Sometimes the venue you choose will offer a wedding planning service - but make sure you know what's covered - for example, menus, entertainment, photographers (or video) and any decorations.

Your wedding planner should discuss your requirements for the day and come up with inventive ways to overcome potential problems.

Nerves are normal

It can be perfectly normal to be a little nervous before the big day.

It might be you know you're going to be the centre of attention and, if you have an introverted personality, that might make you (and your partner) anxious.

It can also be a pressure making sure that all the guests will get on and enjoy the day.

How to stay calm in the build-up to the big day

Here are top tips to help keep your wedding stress-free - both in the build-up to the big day and on the day itself:

  • Be realistic. You may have spent long days dreaming of gliding down the aisle in the perfect dress - but is this vision of perfection putting pressure on those around you? Try to keep your expectations real.
  • Be prepared to accept help. If you're a bride-to-be, the impulse to micro-manage is strong - but it can also place you under undue pressure. Take offers of help if you can and share the load. However, don't let others take over. Be clear about your boundaries and the fact it's your day. Understand where you will and will not compromise - such as flower colours and seating plans.
  • Instead of taking back control - and risking appearing ungrateful - take time to explain to others why certain decisions are important to you.
  • Modern 'blended' families also bring new challenges - with roles for step-parents - and step children. Do you want your dad to walk you down the aisle or your stepdad you've known since you were little?Perhaps one could do a speech instead?
  • Be creative. Your wedding doesn't have to fit into a set format. If one or both of you have big families, you may not be able to invite all of your friends. Talk to people to ensure they understand. Talk to friends about what they did and how they dealt with things creatively - such as having a separate ceremony and celebration event.
  • Be tolerant. Put things in perspective and remind yourself that the wedding day is just one day and what really matters is your whole life together. Sort out any big differences of opinion between you and your partner long before the big day.
  • Play to your strengths. There are some things you'll be better at managing than your partner will.
  • Budgeting is a source of stress for many couples - and weddings can be surprisingly expensive. Balance the magical experience without racking up debts.
  • Don't let wedding planning become a chore, and don't let negative thoughts spoil the magic.
  • Maintain energy levels. Weddings and planning them can be exhausting. Pace yourself, eat and drink well - and keep hen and stag nights some days away from the ceremony itself to avoid feeling under the weather on the big day.

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