Urinary Incontinence health centre

This article is from the WebMD Feature Archive

The emotional toll of urinary incontinence in men

By R. Morgan Griffin
WebMD Feature

Medically Reviewed by Dr Rob Hicks

Male urinary incontinence is a common condition in the UK but it’s highly unlikely that you've ever met a single man who confessed to having it. It's not exactly a topic men are anxious to discuss in the changing room or over drinks after work.

"For many men," says Dr Tomas L Griebling, "incontinence is so embarrassing they won't discuss it with anybody." Griebling is vice chair of a department of urology at a university.

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Why is it so embarrassing? It's because there's more to male incontinence than just the symptom. It's a condition that can affect how you see yourself. "Adult nappies" used to be joked about; now it refers to the product in a pharmacy aisle that you're trying to choose. Urinary incontinence can make a self-assured man feel like a humiliated, bed-wetting child. It can make a healthy, active adult suddenly feel like an invalid. Male incontinence can have a corrosive effect on your state of mind.

However, life doesn't have to be so bleak. If you're dealing with male incontinence - with leaking and the constant worry about leaking - here's some very good news. You can get help.

"The bottom line is that incontinence isn't something you have to live with," says Dr Edward James Wright, an assistant professor of urology. "It isn't a normal consequence of life. It's a problem, but a fixable problem." If your symptoms are stressful and taking a toll on your life, here's what you need to know:

The impact of male incontinence

A lot of different things can cause male incontinence. It's often a side effect after surgery for prostate cancer or, less often, an enlarged prostate (BPH). It can be a symptom or a result of many different health conditions, for example diabetes, stroke or multiple sclerosis (MS). Sometimes it can develop for less clear reasons such as an "overactive bladder".

Some men deal with male incontinence fairly well. "I see some men who just pile on as many pads as they need and it doesn't seem to slow them down," says Wright. However, for many others - because of different symptoms, experiences and temperaments - urinary incontinence can be debilitating.

"Some men with incontinence live in a state of constant anxiety," says Anthony R Stone, a vice chair of urology at a medical school. "They're thinking all day long, 'Is it going to leak through my pad?' That anxiety can have a huge, spiralling effect on their lives." Even the most mundane activities - a meeting, a trip to the shops - can become sources of enormous stress.

"If you peer into the lives of some men with incontinence," Wright tells us, "they would meet all the criteria for depression." They lose interest in things they used to enjoy and start secluding themselves, he says. Their jobs are affected and their sex lives fall apart. "But they're too embarrassed to talk about it," Wright adds, "so they wind up living in their own private hell."