Talking to your partner about vaginal dryness

Talking about vaginal dryness isn't always easy. It can be a tricky issue to discuss with your partner as it may be awkward to talk about such an intensely personal matter. Vaginal dryness can also be a sensitive subject as it is inextricably linked with your sex life and desire.

By talking about it you can allay each other's fears and hopefully find a treatment that suits you. 

"It's very common, hugely under reported and under treated as women find it embarrassing to talk about. Many women make excuses not to have sex because of it and don't seek help," says specialist gynaecologist Dr Heather Currie.
 

More common post menopause

Vaginal dryness can happen at any age and has a number of causes but is much more common after the menopause.

You can experience it before menopause if you aren't sexually aroused or use highly perfumed hygiene products. It can be triggered by certain medications, health conditions, psychological issues and hormone levels.

It becomes a much more common problem after the menopause. A survey by Menopause Matters found more than half of women in their 50s experienced it due to a fall in oestrogen.

"Oestrogen helps to keep tissues moist, plump and elastic, so when levels fall the vaginal tissues - and those of the urethra - become thinner and drier," says Wendy Green, author of 'Menopause: A self-help guide to feeling better.'

"This can make having sex very uncomfortable, which can affect relationships quite badly," warns Wendy.

Not tonight thank you

Not only is vaginal dryness uncomfortable and painful for you personally, it can impact on your sex life. It can make sex painful which may mean you try to avoid it with your partner.

If your partner knows you don't want to have sex with them they may feel rejected and vulnerable. They may think you don't find them physically attractive anymore.

If you do have sex they'll feel that your vagina isn't lubricated and moist and may assume that you're not sexually aroused and that you've gone off them.

"You can't ignore it as it'll cause resentment so you need to talk. Anything that is causing you discomfort during intimate sexual relations should be discussed," says psychosexual counsellor for Relate, Denise Knowles.

If you are dry because your partner isn't hitting the spot sexually, get them to try out some different love making techniques or spend more time on foreplay to get you more aroused.

It's a 'Catch 22' situation as sexual activity can help keep your vagina lubricated so avoiding it because it's uncomfortable or painful will ultimately make it less lubricated and the problem is exacerbated.

A survey of more than 800 women over 60 in the Journal of Women's Health suggested that two thirds of them regarded vaginal dryness as one of their main sexual health problems, along with loss of interest in sex.